Ideal And Actual Parenting

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Ideal and Actual Parenting

Majority of people believe that having children is all that parenthood entails. However,

being a parent is an extensive and a challenging journey, which does not only involve bringing

new life on earth but also safely raising the children, leading them successfully to adulthood. In

the real world, parents are charged with a very demanding responsibility, which requires them to

nurture an entirely dependent infant until he or she can depend on himself or herself as an adult.

Actual parenting demands a great deal of effort, energy, resolve, patience, and courage to be

termed as a success. On the other hand, ideal parenting can be described as a type of parenting

that is perfect and convenient for both the guardians and the child raised. This type of childcare

is often described in parenting books, television shows, and magazines. To be an ideal parent is

practically impossible; the challenges, experiences, and dedication involved in actual parenting

are far greater than any person, film, or education material can explain, and it has to be

experienced to be appreciated.

In actual parenting, there is never enough time for parents to spend with their children.

This situation can be partially blamed on the current technological advancements and very

demanding careers, which leave the parents with little or no time to spend with their kids. In

most families, eating together with all family members has become a thing of the past as the

guardians have so many activities to take part in. This way of life has gradually resulted in the

parents falling out of touch with what goes on in the lives of their children. The ideal parenting

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would involve engaging the children in constant talks, even on matters considered to be of little

importance. If any problem exists, the kids are expected to be more confident and comfortable

with parents as they discuss the issues. It enables the parents to tackle the matters affecting their

children early enough before they evolve into more complex problems. Consequently, as the

children mature in ideal parenting, they are expected to be highly intelligent and to make

informed decisions based on what their parents have taught them.

In reality, parents fail by expecting too little from their children based on the notion that

“they are just kids.” When the young ones misbehave, be it by way of their own grumpiness or

public outburst, the best that the parents can do is shrug their shoulders in a manner to suggest

that “that is how kids behave.” The tendency of the parents to tolerate the erosion of good

behavior affects the future development of the person into adulthood. However, it is worth noting

that in ideal parenting, children are portrayed to be more capable than the guardians usually

expect of them (Edelman). They are more often described to be good in domestic chores, respect

for elders, proper manners, self-control, or even generosity. However, this notion is very

different from how the real children behave. To raise a child requires constant monitoring and

instructing him or her on what to do as leaving him or her to make independent decisions will

most likely lead to disaster and anarchy. A child’s brain has a limited thinking capacity, which

affects the decision making. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the parent to make sure that

children learn how to make proper choices, which will not have adverse consequences in the

future.

In the ideal parenting, the society has a say in how the child is raised. This system

involves social workers and school teachers stepping in as guardians in the absence of parents

and correcting the child whenever he or she is wrong. The interest of every member of the

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community, in an ideal situation, is to bring up disciplined boys and girls. However, in the actual

parenthood, if anyone apart from the child’s parents dares to rectify his or her behavior, the

parents get very upset. They always view their children as mature and perfect to the extent of not

accepting teachers’ reports that suggest otherwise. Parents always want to project a positive and

excellent picture of their children to the outside world. This image is normally protected at all

costs, and anyone who takes the responsibility of scolding a child that is not theirs can be easily

prosecuted. This tradition encourages the likelihood of children to misbehave when their parents

are not around.

Prioritizing the children’s needs at the expense of their parents’ is an excellent thing, but

it can sometimes have negative results. Theoretically, parents are expected to put the needs of

their children first, but as far as actual parenting is concerned, it is always a contentious issue.

Some basic needs, such as food, clothes, shelter, health, and education, are vital to the well-being

of every child and should come first (Edelman). However, other things, such as owning an

expensive bike, a mobile phone, or a computer, which are the luxury items, a child must learn to

live without if the budget does not allow them. As the young grow, it becomes vital to teach

them how to operate on a tight budget and to make maximum use of everything they have.

Contrary to the ideal parenting, where the child is provided with most of the luxury items, real

parenting does not guarantee a smooth financial ride. At some points in life, most parents are

faced with some financial hardships, which children are expected to understand and assist in any

way they can.

In real-life parenting, the adults fail to appreciate the fact that their children are

individuals with the abilities different from others. The guardians fail by comparing their own

children to other children and demanding too much from them rather than cheering them up and

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learning about their real potentials. This situation can make a child feel unworthy when he or she

fails to achieve what other children are accomplishing with ease. However, ideal parenting

emphasizes the need to motivate the young ones to unleash their full potential and to

continuously let them know that they are loved for what they are as well as for what they can

achieve. To raise a child perfectly, the parent is urged to stop comparing him or her with others

as each child has his or her own strength and weaknesses. Every person has a unique talent, and

it is the role of the parents to help their children realize theirs. However, in the society where a

child is expected to excel in academics, parents are not very keen on developing a talent that is

not scholarly inclined. Most parents feel bad when their children do not perform very well in

their studies, and instead of encouraging them in other areas, they press them too hard to receive

higher grades.

In conclusion, it can be determined that ideal parenting is hard to achieve since it

incorporates some high standards that a parent should employ when raising a child. However, the

values stipulated in this model of parenting should be used as essential in guiding parents on how

to raise their children in a real world. Even though not all the conditions are easy to fulfill,

meeting some of them will provide the child with a decent upbringing.

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Works Cited

Edelman, Joni. “Deluded vs. Actual Parenting: Things I Said I Would Never Do (And Then

Did).” Ravishly, 21 Dec. 2015, https://ravishly.com/2015/06/23/deluded-vs-actual-

parenting-things-i-said-i-would-never-do-and-then-did. Accessed 7 Dec. 2017.

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