R 10 Glanton P3 | EssayIvy.com

Qiana –

I think we should find a time to meet to discuss this paper in detail – as I found it hard to follow

your reasoning here. The writing is challenging to understand, and I’m wondering if you’re

having some difficulty pulling the central ideas out of the readings to make a cogent argument.

For example, I’m not sure where in the Haywood essay she talks about clothing choices --- albeit

she does talk about how she feels different about her body (which has nothing to do with

clothing really). Engage the actual language from the readings – through “quotes” from the text

followed by careful analysis of details – to support your thesis. The paper is mostly based on

paraphrase.

Do you read your writing aloud? If not, you should – as I think you will hear many of the surface

errors and confusing turns of phrase.

I know you have a busy work schedule, but we really should walk though this paper and see

what can be done in terms of revision and resubmission. Sundays are out, but evenings can be

possible with some planning for a Zoom conference.

Paper 3 grade: R (1.0) – please see my comments below, downloadable per the following link

HERE:

Dr. Tabor

Qiana Glanton

Professor Tabor

English Composition I, Eng. 101-305

Effects of Clothing Choices on Personal Modification

Lauren Shields, in “My Year of Modesty” addressed much of what dressing may imply.

She focuses on physical transformation which implied on how people see and judge you from the

way you dress, instead of what you hold inside or your personality. She gives an example of how

modesty is perceived by other people, giving an example of Muslim and Jewish modesty outfits.

Other than physical implication, she asserts that dressing has a major effect on personal

transformation, as many people believe. Meanwhile, Kevin Fanning explains how he was

Commented [TJ1]: How I – Jack Tabor? – dress?

Really?

You and Your. When you say you here do you

really mean Me? Or do you really mean to say

“we” here? Avoid use of you and your as one-size-

fits-all pronouns, as these terms are not only too

casual for college writing but also vague and

unclear. What does “you” really index here?

Glanton 2

tortured by the fact that he looked fat, and students pointed out so. Whereas he believed he was

okay, physically, deep inside his mind was internal conflict, fighting to achieve peace with

himself. He found himself searching for Spanx, which is assumed to be a women’s wear. As it

will be discussed in this paper, clothing choices affect personal transformation in the way we

perceive ourselves and how others view us, the beliefs we hold in relation to dressing code, how

we always feel about ourselves as a result of the clothing choices we make, and the general

physical appearance.

Clothing choices affects the way we perceive ourselves and how others view us. For

example, Lauren Shields is more disturbed by how people perceive women, because of the way

they dress and apply makeup while Kevin’s concern is more different. Kevin ascertains that there

is no problem when people refer to him as fat. Instead, he is disturbed that he cannot have inner

peace with his status (Fanning 218). For example, Lauren talks of modesty. By abiding by

modesty, people tend to wear hijab and Jewish outfit. Shields explains how such outfits make

them look ‘non-American’ and while they travel in trains dominated by classy women, they feel

belonging to deserted ‘low-group’. Kevin on the hand is much concerned with the fact that to

look good and feel okay about himself, he needs personal transformation. While Shield’s view of

personal transformation lies much on what dressing differently from other women result to

(Shields 227), Kevin’s view personal transformation as crossing the men-women border and

wear Spanx, which is considered to women’s outfit. Therefore, the two authors ascertain that

clothing choice indeed changes our perception about ourselves as well as the perception by other

people.

Secondly, both Shields and Kevin confirm the fact that dressing choices affect the beliefs

people have about themselves regarding the way they dress. They both have a similar view on

Commented [TJ2]: These are your topics of discussion:

The what is your argument? Is there a thesis here?

Commented [TJ3]: That is so true– but why should we

care? Is there larger point that you’re getting at here?

Commented [TJ4]: Unless, of course, if you have the

author over for dinner or you know them personally.

Commented [TJ5]: What is a “Jewish outfit”?

Commented [TJ6]: Does she really say this – or does

she say that they look different but have a sense of style,

nevertheless.

This might be a good moment for a quote.

Commented [TJ7]: Fanning

Commented [TJ8]: Runon.

Commented [TJ9]: Read this sentence aloud, and tell

me if this makes any sense

Commented [TJ10]: I don’t understand this sentence!

Commented [TJ11]: Is that good or is that bad? Can

you see more here?

Commented [TJ12]: LAST NAMES, please!

Commented [TJ13]: ???

Glanton 3

personal modification in terms of personality and belief in oneself as a result of a change from

the way they dress. For example, by wearing Spanx, Kevin undergoes personal modification, in

that he can now understand why it is necessary for women to [wear??] some clothing such as

corsets and thunder shirts. He now believes that when there is a necessity for such clothing by

men like him, they should not shy from dressing in such outfits, regardless of how people are

likely to judge or see them. {TRANSITION needed between point made with Fanning and new

point made with Shields: what’s the connection?} Shields carried out a dressing experiment and

what she learned is that the reason you need to modify your dressing is to have self-confidence,

feel that u have transformed in the way that makes you comfortable, not how people view or

judge you. Therefore, despite differing on personal concerns, both agree on the effects that

clothing choices have in changing the beliefs people hold about themselves.

Additionally, body modification in order to accommodate the ideal clothing choices

changes how we feel about ourselves. For example, Sharon Haywood would be despised because

of her body and the cloth choices she had to make to look appealing, despite being fat. She

realized that body modification helped her to wear clothes, wore by a large number of women

and therefore she was able to end the war against his body and clothing choice (Haywood 223).

Other than ending the war against his body and mode of dressing, Sharon Haywood was able to

feel comfortable in her new looks. That is enough evidence of the power of dressing. According

to Sharon, it is better to go an extra mile of physically modifying your body, which eventually

enables you to modify your clothing choices also. Therefore, there is a high co-relation between

Haywood, Kevin, and Shields regarding the power of clothing change in the personal

modification. They are all affected by their looks. For example, Shields, being more interested in

how women and men view women in the kinds of dress they wear, Kevin and Haywood

Commented [TJ14]: I don’t understand.

Commented [TJ15]: Runon sentence.

Commented [TJ16]: “u”???

Commented [TJ17]: Cloth or clothing?

Commented [TJ18]: Are you talking about her tattoos?

Commented [TJ19]: Where does Haywood say this?

Commented [TJ20]: Sharon Haywood is a woman.

Commented [TJ21]: Where in the essay does she talk

about her clothers and what she chooses to wear??

Glanton 4

addressed physical issues associated with being fat and the clothing choices they make to feel

comfortable.

Clothing choices people make is more aimed at changing physical appearance. Whereas

change of dressing code may be viewed as an attempt to change the way people view others and

to make them comfortable with their looks, all this is achieved through physical appearance. For

example, Shield’s choice of clothing will make her be viewed as an “American Woman”, of

course in terms of physical appearance. Kevin wears a Spanx in order to achieve body

modification which will enable him to appear normal, physically, like the other people. He

realized that he was ridiculed because he was fat, and no matter how hard he tried to make peace

with himself, he eventually felt uncomfortable with his physical appearance. He, therefore,

needed physical modification to make him feel fit in the larger group. Therefore, it is evident that

clothes choices have more physical implication in achieving personal modification. It is the

physical appearance that affects how people view or feel about themselves and how other view

and perceive them.

Finally, as seen in this discussion, clothing choice we make power have a significant

effect on personal transformation in term of perception people have about themselves, the beliefs

people have in relation to their dressing code, how the dressing code change their personal

feeling, and general physical appearance. Nonetheless, opinions by Kevin and Shields on

whether we should dress in the way we feel happy about ourselves, it is obvious that it does not

matter how people see you or the class they put you in, or how they suggest you should dress.

However, Haywood illustration shows that sometimes we are not able to cope up with the way

people see us. She shows the need to modify our body and clothing so that people can see us

differently and we can feel comfortable in return. Most important is how we feel about ourselves

Glanton 5

in the dressing mode we chose. If what we wear makes us comfortable, then that is what is best

for us. The three authors’ views on the effects of clothing choices in an attempt to experience

personal transformation are pivotal in enlighting people on the right clothing choices to make

sure that they make themselves comfortable.

Works Cited

Haywood, Sharon. “How Body Modification Ended the War Against My Body.” Intersections:

A Thematic Reader for Writers, edited by Emily Isaacs and Catherine Keohane,

Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2017, pp. 221-226.

Glanton 6

Fanning, Kevin. “One May Explains Why He Swears by Wearing Spanx.” Intersections: A

Thematic Reader for Writers, edited by Emily Isaacs and Catherine Keohane, Bedford/St.

Martin’s 2017, pp. 217-221.

Shields, Lauren. “My Year of Modesty.” Intersections: A Thematic Reader for Writers, edited

by Emily Isaacs and Catherine Keohane, Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2017, pp. 226-231.

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